Monday, 1 August 2011

Thinking, thinking... Way too much thinking.

Ok, I don't know whether the Blog police will bust my nuts for doing two posts in one day, but let's throw caution to the wind here. I want to talk about thinking. Now, as I am a male, some female listeners may be thinking, "My God man, why're you trying to talk about thinking.... It just doesn't bear thinking about how big that headache's going to be afterwards". As I am a male, I'm also guessing that some male readers will be... Well, trying to read this, but not making much sense of those bizarre marks on the screen. Or just thinking I'm a dick. But whatever, here goes.
My specific type of thinking I want to explore is romantic thinking. Not erotic fantasies, as many of you will have leaped to, you dirty, dirty bastards, but the kind of thinking about where your romantic future is going to take you. Now, even when single, I used to think about this a lot. Whilst staring at the various unattainable women that danced around my sixth form like they were under the misconception that their pert arses could save all of Africa, I might add. But now that I'm in a healthy, happy relationship, I don't need to think about it, right? Wrong! (Apparently.) What I have found was that I now over-think every single thing that happens. For example (and I'm pretty sure my significant other won't mind me using this example), she is leaving for 10 days. Now, most people (I assume) would be quite calm about this, given the fact that they're in a healthy relationship, but not my smart-arse brain that likes to ponder over every little detail and possibilty, ohhh no. For some reason, my brain gets terrified of her coming to her senses about going out with me. Which, to be fair, given my magic ability to think things like telling her if I need to pee, or that I had a sex dream involving Jennifer Aniston, makes me more attractive. Anyway, this has been preying on my tired brain for a few days now, and this has made me think: What does the future for this relationship hold? Obviously, given my not-so-great track record in terms of rational thinking, this did not bode well for being able to tell my friends that "No, since watching The Notebook last weekend, I haven't curled up into a ball with a pillow inbetween my legs and cried".
Now while this complete irrational phobia of what the future may bring may sound strange, I'm relatively confident that you, or someone you know, or your grandmother, has experienced this odd fear of what is going on in their love life. I say this, not only out of a desire to see at least one of my many unattractive quirks as normal (Oh God someone accept me please), but also out of a desire to get it off my chest and perhaps help someone else who may be experiencing this exact same problem. Because I think I've found the solution. And while I may overlook this solution as and when this irrational mindset strikes again, and the next time and the next time, etc, I would like to impart this with you. The solution is: Most of the time, there is no solution. What I have found is that, upon stopping my solid bombardment of introspection and analysis and rocking back and forth with my thumb in my mouth, the problem was put into perspective. I guess what I've been trying to say is that in any relationship, or when you're single, or with anything, in my experience, thinking too much about the future is quite often a bad thing, and that the love of anyone (be it a significant other, family, friends, or a particular park-bench), is always worth more than any potential future that a worried mind can cook up. In my case, it leaves me a gibbering wreck, watching romantic comedies, screaming at the television screen, "WHY JENNIFER, WHYYYY, WHY DID YOU NOT THINK ABOUT GETTING AN INSANE DOG, AND HOW HAVE YOU KEPT YOUR YOUNG HIPS AFTER FOUR KIDS". Thank God I have my girlfriend, and thank God she has a really strange taste in men. Future mental patients, in my case...

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